I swear, I can't break my record. Something always comes up. I got invited out to hang out with two very close friends, and we ended up hanging out in Peoria, rocking out to awesome music, and [gasp] eating dinner...at a Chinese restaurant. I made the terrible mistake of letting them know what I do to myself. So I ate, but their portions were huge and fattening and I couldn't get anything smaller. He was paying, so I cleared my plate and didn't even puke. I haven't puked in decades--I hate it. It's a phobia of mine. I can't stand puking. I didn't want to waste his money, either. So the calories are oozing about my insides right now, and I hate it. I have no idea how many calories are in it, either. Possibly 2000. I've probably gotten enough exercise today to avoid putting on any weight, but...I don't know. I just feel terrible, but I couldn't have done any [worse] better.
I'll just let this one go. My week's diet is set.
Dry cereal in the morning (100)
Pop for lunch (0)
On super-active days, I'll save the pop for dinner and have lunchmeat (90) for lunch.
I'll never pass 200 calories. I'll be a good boy.
couple that with insane exercise, and my sins today will be forgiven.
Oh, and when money comes in, I need to buy diuretics. I'll take them on Sundays to flush out the excess water in my system for my weigh-ins, to guarantee consistency.
But tomorrow is Sunday. That means one thing.
I don't get to eat anything. Absolute fast on Sunday, until I weigh. I can have coffee at PM Church, though. I'll weigh right before I leave.
It'll be okay. I'll keep losing. I need to remind myself that when in public, I can't look like I have an eating disorder. I'll just do what I can to keep the calories low, but the acting is the most important part. I rarely go out to eat, so if I'm forced to look normal, I can look normal and it probably won't kill me long-term. Since I'm on a deadline, it was a bit disappointing, but what REALLY matters is that I keep losing long-term. If I'm 164 by next Sunday, that's fine--so long as the trend is DOWN.
Next breakfast is Monday, AM. Daunting. I pray I live.
Stay strong. Stay beautiful <3
Love,
Micah
from my serving math, My meal was only 1200 calories. If that's the case, I didn't do to bad, but I doubt the Kobari beef was THAT lean. 210 calories? My ass. Try 500. Orange chicken = 400? try six. Fried rice? 570? 700. 700 + 500 + 600 = 1800 is more likely. + 120 from breakfast = 1920 = disgusting.
ReplyDelete